Eddie (“How now spirit wither wander thee”) Goodall

Eddie is the bands Vocalist and Show off, Eddie has previously been in the bands: “Fat Bloke” and “Big Red” Eddie is also an actor and has appeared in such mammoth productions as: “Lone working, a home visit” which is a cult art film (well ok a NHS training film). Eddie also looks after the bands finances, and can currently be contacted at: 17 Pacific Avenue, Nassau, the Bahamas. but soon to be HMP Ford, West sussex.

Eddie’s tip: Always keep two sets of books, (one for the tax man and one for raising moody mortgages)

Dave (You could have your eye out with that) Desmond

Dave is “King Pies” musical director and trombonist, Dave is a military trained musician and is also a former member of Big Red and holds a masters degree in music.  Dave looks after the welfare of the rest of the band ensuring that they adhere to strict health and safety practice and get their suitable breaks and liquid intake (apparently Stella Artois is the only beverage recommended by the HSE)

Daves tips: Always bend your knees when picking things up.

Tony (Arpeggio) West

Tony plays guitar and comes to “King Pie” from a teaching background as well as being an accomplished session player, although the audience will be more familiar with him as the driving and biting guitar sound of his former band, Big Red, apparently Tony invented the electric guitar in 1993 but was just beaten to the post by the firm Rickenbacker in 1931.

Tony’s tips: take your guitar out of its case prior to playing to avoid that woolly sound.

Dan (biff after bash except after crash) Kelly

Dan discovered his love of banging things sitting on his Mother's doorstep (litigation with the estate of Danny La Rue ongoing). He has played in many bands and with many 'high profile' artists including the rock and roll band 'The Flying Saucers'. Dan also spent many years as Gene Vincents wooden leg technician until being approached to work as Paul Anka's wig consultant.

Paul (loverman) Overton

Paul is the band's alto saxophonist as well as our resident lothario. He learned the saxophone from his cellmate at Park Hurst  “Jimmy the knuckles Jones”. Paul was at the time doing a “ten bit” for a case of mistaken identity (Paul's victim saw himself as alive and Paul saw him as dead !!)

Paul's tip: If you get and old bake bean tin and flatten it to use as a handle you can use the opened lid to cut somebody’s throat. (Note to booking agents and unresponsive audiences)

Steve (where am I, who am I?) Taylor

Steve is ex-SAS but doesn't want anyone to know about it. His great ambition is (wait a minute it was on the tip of my tongue?) he plays that thing where you blow into one end and some sound comes out of (I knew the name of it yesterday?) Steve’s job is to stand where he’s told blow into that thing that someone was speaking about just now and to stop when he’s told.

Steve’s tip: if you tie a knot into that thing that you use for blowing your nose you...

Jez (Shoulders back, chins up, chest out) Jones

Jez is “King Pies” Trumpet Maestro and another army (Para’s) trained musician, He has worked on sessions with many great jazz names and musicians (and also the “Cheeky Girls”) He is a former member of the prominent Southampton band “Rufus Stone”.

Jez’s tip: When jumping from a plane, 1. always remember parachute 2. stop playing trumpet prior to impact (as it’ll have yer teeth out!) (Ok Jez’s two tips)

Connie (the tease) Everard.

Connie joined King Pie from playing with such luminaries as: Rock Therapy , Papa Jones Magic Moonshine Band; Slim Pickings; Pete Hutton and the Beyonders ,Tarred and Feathered; the Ceilidh Crew; Ricky Boa and the Constrictors; the Detours and a very brief spell with Sir Ivy Benson who was horrified at how slow she read, but pleasantly surprised how quick she learned anything she heard, even once!
 
Little known fact about Connie is that she is crazy as a bag of Snakes, and bites Bassists who play with a pick. Connie has the loan of a black full length ball gown, and is ready for anything now! ( But insists on wearing sturdy underwear)

Connie's tip: Girls - don't go for under wired braziers, find a comfortable cup and re-enforce with gaffer tape.